Stupid rules - Daisy the cat

​Stupid rules.

I don't know why, but Mommy and Daddy have rules in the house. I don't like rules. I like to do
whatever I want and when I want to do it. I should make all the rules in the house because I am the Queen.

Rule number one is that we are not allowed to scratch and break objects in the house. Where is the fun in that? I am allowed to bite and play with my toys and scratch a cat pole, but I prefer to attack the big spongy object that humans sit on. That is fun!

Rule number two, we are not allowed to get onto the table or counters. I love getting on to the table because that is where humans eat, and they make food on the counters. There are also a lot of objects to play with on tables and counters!

Rule number three, I am not allowed to pee in the house. Although Mommy and Daddy do, I'm not allowed. I have a box with crystals that I pee in. I don't like to make poopies in it. It stinks! I rather poop outside between the plants.

Rule number four, I am not allowed to bring my trophies into the house. All I want to do is show
Mommy and Daddy that I am a good hunter! Instead of rewarding me, Mommy screams at my
trophies. Humans only like fake mice and birds for some reason.

Rule number five, I must go inside the house when it gets dark. I don't know why I'm not allowed to talk to the moon or scream at my intruders while my humans sleep. I always try to hide in the best way possible so that Daddy can't find me.

Rule number six, I am not allowed to play with noisy toys at night while humans sleep. Noisy toys are fun to play with and echo at night! I am allowed to play with my mouse and my small black wire. The rest gets locked away, even my white, heavy ball with dimples on!

The dumbest rule I have ever heard is that soft, special kind of food is only allowed when Daddy gets home. Can you believe it? During the day, I only get pellets and treats. The only other time I get soft food is when it is hot, so sometimes I try to fake it!

I don't know why there must be so many rules in the house. Do they really believe that I am going to follow those rules? Come on, I am a cat! And not just any cat, but I am the Queen! Rules are made to be broken anyway.

Cheoww! I am going to go attack the spongy thing now.