How Long Does A Cat Hold A Grudge?

As much as we all try to be the best possible pet owners for our feline friends, situations can and do arise where we worry our cats will hold a grudge. 

Maybe your cat is being standoffish with you after you’ve returned from vacation, or perhaps you’ve accidentally tripped over them or stepped on their tail (it happens). 

Regardless of why you feel your cat may be upset with you, you’re probably eager for the dynamic to return to normal, which begs the question: how long does a cat hold a grudge?

​Cats And Short-Term Memory

Cats have a short-term memory span of about 16 hours. This means that generally speaking, cats don’t remember small slights or accidents after the 16-hour mark. 

So, if you’ve done something minor to upset your cat, such as making a loud noise and accidentally scaring them, you can expect them to return to their normal, affectionate self within a few hours - 16 hours at the most.

Things Cats Forgive And Forget Quickly

Here are some examples of things that your cat is likely to forgive you for quickly: 

• Picking them up. If you pick up your cat, they may let you know that this kind of interaction is unwanted with a scratch or a bite, and they might give you the cold shoulder for a few hours. However, this type of incident is usually quickly forgotten about.
  
• Excessive petting. Similar to picking up your cat when they don’t want it, petting your cat excessively can lead to them reacting out of annoyance, and this can extend to a few hours of avoidance or general grumpiness. This is especially true if you touch some of your cat’s more sensitive or vulnerable areas like their belly or the pads of their paws.
  
• Sleep deprivation. We all know how annoying it can be to have our sleep disturbed. If you interrupt your cat’s nap time, expect some grumpiness for a while. However, this is a minor transgression that is typically forgiven quite quickly as long as you let your cat go back to sleep and leave them be.
  
• An accidental hit/kick. Accidents happen. Flinging out an arm or walking around without watching your feet can result in accidentally hurting your cat. Naturally, this is very unpleasant for your pet, and you probably feel awful about it, but as long as your cat doesn’t seem to be injured, try not to worry too much. Cats are sensitive to their emotional environment, so they can usually tell when there’s anger or malice behind an action and when something is an accident. Because of this, they will most likely forgive you for this one within a day.

​Prolonged Avoidance After Traumatic Events

While cats will typically forgive their owners for unintentional upsets within 16 hours, or 24 at most, there are some things that our feline companions won’t forgive so easily. The following things are likely to result in your cat holding a prolonged grudge against you:

• Stepping on their tail. As we mentioned earlier, your cat will probably understand that you stepping on their tail was an accident, but they may still hold a grudge. The tail is a very sensitive area for felines and they depend on it for balance and mobility. Therefore, if you accidentally hurt your cat’s tail, they might feel threatened and avoid you or behave aggressively for a few days.
  
• Punishments. Most experts in cat behavior will tell you to refrain from punishing your cat in any way because they can perceive it as a threat and become avoidant for anywhere up to several days after such an incident.
  
• Abuse. It should go without saying, but being violent or aggressive with your cat is abusive. If you abuse your cat, they will avoid you, become anxious, and develop behavioral problems.

​How to Tell If Your Cat Is Upset With You

If you’re not sure whether your cat is mad at you, here are some telltale signs that you have some reconciliation to do:

• Avoidance or aggression. If your cat is running away or hiding from you, or giving you the cold shoulder when you try to be affectionate, they are probably upset and holding a grudge. Similarly, if your cat lashes out physically, they are likely feeling scared and annoyed after what happened.
• Looking annoyed. Cats have expressive eyes and faces. If your cat is fixing you with a haughty, irritated look, it’s possible that they’re holding a grudge.
• Body language. Tail switching, a puffed-up tail with an arched back, and flattened ears are all signs of an unhappy cat.
• Bathroom issues. If you’ve done something to upset your cat, they may start urinating or defecating outside of the litter box, either due to anxiety or in protest.

​Getting Your Cat To Forgive You

After upsetting your cat, you probably feel sad and guilty, but don’t be tempted to overcompensate by getting in your cat’s space to give them affection since this could backfire. Instead, sit somewhere accessible with your cat’s favorite blanket or toy near you. This will encourage your cat to approach you. 

Other ways to get back in your cat’s good books is to give them their favorite food and speak softly to them while still giving them space so they know you’re not ignoring them. 

After a few hours, try approaching your cat gently and offering a treat or a toy. By this point, they may be ready for love again. 

Final Thoughts

Most of the time, cats will hold a grudge for a maximum of 16 hours due to how their short-term memory works. However, in some cases, such as if you step on their tail or punish them, cats might hold a grudge for several days. 

Signs your cat is holding a grudge include aggressive or fearful body language, avoidant or aggressive behavior, or bathroom problems. 

You can speed up reconciliation with your cat by giving them space, speaking softly, and giving their favorite food, treats, or toys as peace offerings.